i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
