Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
