yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
