oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
