I don't remember. Are we still dating?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
