They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
