You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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