It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
