bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
