fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
