Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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