i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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