i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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