What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize