Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This is my gift to your gina
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize