there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
