Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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