We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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