Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
