Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
