i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
