We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
