Sponge bath it is.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
