Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have aggressive nipples.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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