Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
