Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
