I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Quick, to the slutcave!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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