I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
