Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(516): View more from New York

Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.

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(309): View more from Illinois

they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Everything smells like blood and olive oil.

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(936): View more from Texas

Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.

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(253): View more from Washington

No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.

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