I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
