i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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