Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
