I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
