I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize