i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
