I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
