i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
