Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
