Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Pappa wants mamma naked
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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