it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
