Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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