This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I will be naked everywhere
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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