Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I looked at my own cervix.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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