Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
