Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
