the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
