I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
