They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
