it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
