piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I want to have your abortion
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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