the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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